Huzzah!

One of the bits that I became known for during my radio career was something I called Country Shakespeare. I still get more comments about that character than any other; more than Deacon Paul Brown, Foodipedia, or even Crooks Are Stupid, and that was another big hit in my arsenal.

I talked to a listener named Kelvin who told me he still wakes up with me each morning at KRTY.com and enjoys it, but sure does miss Country Shakespeare. In case this surprises you, that Julie and I are still doing the morning show, you should tune in Monday through Friday mornings from 5:30 to 9 am. We talk about you all the time.

That’s a common refrain; another listener named Taylor wanted to know why I didn’t continue it. Well, it was a silly contest idea to give away prizes. The secret behind radio contests is that we don’t care who wins; we just want it to be entertaining. Currently, our streaming setup doesn’t work with live phone calls. She said: “I don’t care about the prize, I just want to hear the lyrics you do”.

Fair enough. Now, if you have never heard Country Shakespeare, let me explain the premise: your humble bard takes the words of a current hit country song and transcribes them into the King’s English, all done with pomp and circumstance. I get asked all the time how I do it, and I thought I’d use this week’s column to show you exactly how.

The song is Ella Langley and Riley Green’s “You Look Like You Love Me”. I’ll give you the lyric first, and then the translated version.

I was all but 22, I think at the time

I’d been out on the road, lonely at night

Shakespeare:

One was but of two score and 2, if one recollects correctly, traveling and despairing

Over one’s solitude.

Ella:

And it’d been a while, so it was on my mind

Well, I saw him walk in, with his cowboy hat

And I thought to myself, I could use some of that

Shakespeare:

One’s lack of social interaction was top of mind; nights can be forever, and this

Situation weighed heavily, whereupon a male entered the establishment, clothed in

Western attire, and one thought that his company would be welcomed.

Ella:

His boots like glass on a sawdust floor, huh

Had moves like nothing I’d ever seen before

Shakespeare:

The lad’s brogans glided upon the ballroom with ease, creating movements one was not familiar with.

Ella:

So I walked right up, and I pulled him to the side

I handed that man a beer and looked him in the eyes

And I said, “Baby, I think you’re gonna wanna hear this.”

Then I told him

Shakespeare:

Therefore, one strode up to this rapscallion and gathered his attention with a frosty mug of ale and stared into the windows of his soul and declared, “Dear one, I have news that may interest thee.

Ella:

“Excuse me

You look like you love me

You look like you want me to want you to come on home

And baby, I don’t blame you

For looking me up and down across this room

I’m drunk and I’m ready to leave

And you look like you love me”

Shakespeare:

Pardon, it appears that thou may have romantic feelings for this servant. Thou dost have the countenance that one may be the one you long for to accompany thee to yon’s abode.

Beloved, one does not begrudge thou’s gaze upon this form as one sashayed through this room. One is inebriated, and departure is imminent. Plus, thou appears to have romantic feelings for this servant.

There’s your behind-the-scenes look at the creative process. Do you have a song you’d like Country Shakespeare to take a crack at? Let me know, and we’ll see if the Bard of the Bayou is up for it! Huzzah, salutations, and greetings to all!