Limits

We all have challenges. All of us. You may think that someone is financially secure and has no concerns that really matter. I grew up poor. I know I absolutely thought that the majority of my life. But if you’re lucky enough to pay attention, you may gather a little wisdom along the way. I define wisdom this way: knowledge plus experience. One without the other is kind of useless. I’ve mentioned this in previous columns.

I have never heard God’s voice. But I have heard him speaking through others. I heard him through the voice of Jimmy Carr. Jimmy is a very funny comedian, and I don’t always agree with everything he says, but I have found a number of his insights to come from a divine place. He was on The Diary of a CEO podcast when the discussion turned to privilege. This is where Jimmy went with it:

“You can’t have an easy life and have great character. Show me a trust fund kid with a bunch of money, and I’ll show you someone mentally tortured. Having stuff isn’t fun; getting stuff is fun. It’s not the pursuit of happiness, it’s the happiness of the pursuit. It’s not the self-help thought that it’s not the journey, or it’s not the destination. It’s not either the journey or the destination. It’s who you become on the journey.”

Wow.

Luke Combs, the country singer, just publicly admitted he struggles with a form of obsessive-compulsive disorder called Pure O. My co-worker said he admitted that to her backstage at one of his events, but this is the first time he’s put it out there for the rest of the world. He gets intrusive thoughts that he can’t let go of. Those weird thoughts like “What if I punch this person in front of me right now, or hit them with a bat?” And that gives him even more anxiety about “Well, what is wrong with me?” Here’s someone at the pinnacle of success in his field, fame, fortune, great family, just celebrated the birth of his third child, and yet he can’t trust his brain. As I said, we all have challenges. And I have absolutely thought the same thing while interviewing someone famous or just talking to a listener. You’re not insane, because we all recoil in inner horror when we get thoughts like that, the truly mentally challenged individual does not.

Jesus even said do not borrow troubles from tomorrow; today has more than enough. But one of the secrets to life that I feel like I’ve learned a bit is that those struggles make us who we are. If given the opportunity to have a do-over in my life, while retaining the knowledge I have accumulated, I don’t think I would. Sure, we can dream about buying Apple when it was under a dollar a share, or getting in on the groundfloor of Google or Nvidia and being rich beyond our wildest dreams, but what would we be giving up? I can honestly say I would not give up my wife and children for all the money. And I needed all the struggles in my life, the bad jobs, the troubled relationships, the broken promises, the financial distress, to get me to today. I learned something from each and every circumstance. We all do.

I had a friend look at me funny when I remarked, “Today is the best I’ll feel for the rest of my life”. He said, “Well, that’s dark”. My response was no, it was full of hope. Twenty-five years from now, how much will I remember this body and wish I had it? It’s easy to want our 21-year-old body, but the one we have now will be something we long for in a decade, much less two and a half decades.

The great philosopher Sheryl Crow once sang, “It’s not getting what you want, it’s wanting what you have”. I have said this truism to my sons a number of times: Comparison is the thief of joy. Happiness is truly your life without envy.

I’ll share one last thing on the thought I started this column with, about never hearing God’s voice but hearing him all around me. I was talking to my son one night about some struggles that a relative was facing, and I said how I needed to bring it to God in prayer and just hope that they can make it through this difficult time. My son looked at me and said, “Hey, Dad, can I ask you something? Why do you put limits on God? He literally created every single thing, and I feel like you limit Him, or try to. Why not ask God not just help them get through something, but to exceed beyond their wildest dreams, past these times, and have them turn into a flood of blessings?” I looked at him, then I looked heavenward and said, “Hey God, I heard you. Thanks for that”.

Let’s only put limits on our envy and our comparisons. Dare to challenge yourself to enjoy this moment, this hour, this day. Compound interest works on money, but I think it probably works even better with this equation. Best of luck to you. I’m going to go pray and try to put no limits on Him.